[HOME ] [ABOUT] [PHOTOS] [VIDEO] [BLOG] [HOUSTON] [TEXAS] [U.S. NEWS] [WORLD NEWS] [SPORTS] [POP CULTURE] [CONTACT]
PART II - The West's inability to comprehend African society
British Prime Minister David Cameron
by Joseph Earnest November 11, 2011
Newscast Media HOUSTON, Texas --Whereas in Africa parents want to know whose son plans to marry their daughter, in America the parents will ask the daughter, "What does he do?" In the West, the measure of a man is mostly determined by the kind of job he does, or the company he works for, which explains the high divorce rate, and pre-nuptial agreements, since companies come and go. There are still a few marriages based on genuine love, but those are extremely rare.
In the West people seem to forget that you are not your job or the company you work for. You are not the car you drive or neighborhood you live in. It never ceases to amaze me when I watch people working for prestigious companies, walking around feeling deadly. When those companies fail or lay off workers, then the same people who were thumbing their noses at others because of their jobs, come back to earth. We saw it here in Houston during the ENRON debacle. One female executive was so humbled by her sudden job loss she confessed: "I was the kind of person who looked at others that worked for lesser known companies and did not want to be like them. Now those same people who have seen me lose my prestigious job, do not want to be like me."
To demonstrate further on this subject, for instance, a man can go from being a homeless drug addict in America, to becoming a clean, drug-free CEO and President of a successful business, which demonstrates the American dream of starting with nothing and rising to the top. Such a man is a hero in the community. He can pick and choose whom to marry, and will never have problems marrying or attracting a decent woman. Yet in Africa, he will always be known as the man who "once was a homeless drug addict", and if a girl comes from a respectable and posh family, that man will never be acceptable as a husband or son-in-law.
In the African family, the mother always has clout on whom her son marries, so it is important for the man's girlfriend to be liked, or be on good terms with his mother, or she will never let her marry the son. On a trip in Africa, a mother, whose son has great respect for this journalist came to me and said, "Please save my son from making a terrible mistake." To which I responded, "What mistake?" She then tearfully related to me how her son was deeply involved with a woman from a [certain region] who, to put it politely, "liked to have a good time". The mother did not think her son's girlfriend was marriage material, and requested my intervention.
As for a daughter in the family, if her father doesn't like the man she is dating, he will never marry his daughter. The father's stamp of approval is very necessary before a woman can say "I do" to any man in Africa. The plus side is, if you come from a decent family, people will recommend that you date their relatives who may be single. It is not uncommon for someone from a well-respected background to receive offers like: "I have a cousin I would like you to meet; or there is a niece of mine who is single, I think you should meet her; or have I introduced you to my daughter who is on holiday this summer?" Rich African men send their daughters overseas to study, so when they go back home on vacation, in Africa it is referred to as being on holiday.
What is even more decisive than a person's family background in Africa, is religion. A person's religion can either make or break a relationship, so it is important to consider that aspect of compatibility that is very much a nexus of the African culture. A good example is, if a person comes from a decent family and marries a decent spouse, then down the road chooses to switch to a different religion, that person will become an outcast and lose both the family and marriage, and could even be disowned by the blood relatives for switching religions.
A friend of mine in London who once lived in Africa, returned home one evening, and told his father about his new-found religion. Needless to say, he was disowned and ended up moving to London over a decade ago where he continues to live. Both father and son haven't spoken since.
The temperament of Africans also varies. There are some Africans who are very touchy when it comes to heritage, a good example would be Ethiopians, Rwandese, and to a small extent Tanzanians. On occasion, they do take criticism very personally.
Egyptians seem relaxed when you write an article that is critical, because they look for the logic behind the criticism. If it is justified, they’ll even respect you more, perhaps due to that inability of Egyptian journalists to be able to express themselves without fear of retaliation from their government. In fact Newscast Media does plan to make a second trip to Egypt, because I understand, based on what my journalist friends in Egypt tell me, it is extremely difficult for people who come from an Arabian background to get entry visas into the United States.
In America, never ask an African if he is from Nigeria. His angry response will be, "Do you think every African is from Nigeria?" The same applies to South Africans who are White. Never ask a White South African if he or she is from Australia. Most Americans cannot seem to differentiate the South African and Australian accents from each other. As a matter of fact, White South Africans just prefer to be referred to as Africans because they consider themselves to be very much a part of Africa and the African heritage as the rest of Africans. Unlike Africans in the North who refer to themselves as Arabs instead of Africans, White South Africans take their African identity very seriously and greatly esteem the culture.
When it comes to East Africa, Ugandans are the only people in this world I know of, who laugh at themselves, when you say something critical about them or their government. To them it is nothing personal. In fact, on his most recent trip to Rwanda, Uganda's president said that he was trying to fight corruption but Uganda was filled with thieves.
"I have been fighting with these thieves. You know Uganda has so many thieves. I don't know whether Rwanda has so many thieves like Uganda," Mr. Museveni said to prolonged laughter. (pop-up)
When the statements were published in Ugandan newspapers, Ugandans thought it was one of the funniest speeches, so they took to Twitter and started greeting each other with the phrase, "Hello thief." It was no big deal to them.
Perhaps the most laid back of all Africans are Kenyans. Kenyans are so cool, they don't even bother laughing at themselves of even responding to criticism. They just shrug it off and move on. There is nothing critical you can say to Kenyans to make them lose their composure, yet one small criticism about Ethiopia or Rwanda or even Tanzania can create fireworks. In Africa you have to be able to adapt, in order to blend and understand the culture.
So, when Cameron makes threatening statements, he has absolutely no comprehension of how strong the culture and family units are in Africa. When Hillary Clinton penned her book that was published by Simon & Schuster in 1996, she chose the title, It Takes A Village. Hillary understood the African proverb, "It takes a village to raise a child", and respected African values enough as inspiration for her book. She is also known for remembering and pronouncing African names with such accuracy, one would think she spent part of her life living on the continent.
A lot of Africans may not live in luxury, but they value tradition, culture, and identity enough to be willing to walk away from any amount of money from the West, rather than be stripped of the values and upbringing they hold so dear. Bellingham did the right thing on his African trip, by clarifying Cameron's remarks.. Back to Part I - The West and Africa >>
Related story:
PART I - The West's inability to comprehend African society
|
|
Join the Newscast Media social networks
for current events and multimedia content.
Copyright© Newscast Media. All Rights Reserved. Terms and Privacy Policy