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Part II: What parents, teachers and kids can do to prevent bullying
by Joseph Earnest August 4, 2011
Newscast Media HOUSTON, Texas -- There is a general myth that bullying usually occurs when there are no other students around. Students see about four out of every five bullying incidents at school. In fact, when they witness bullying, they give the student who is bullying positive attention or even join in about three-quarters of the time. Although 9 out of 10 students say there is bullying in their schools, adults rarely see bullying, even if they are looking for it.
The phenomenon of bystanders not intervening when it is obvious that someone needs help is what is referred to in Social Psychology as the Bystander Effect or Diffusion of Responsibility. The video below demonstrates the Bystander Effect.
The Bystander Effect
For parents there are several practical steps to tackle this issue. The first step is to talk with your children. Do not just ignore the bullying problem or hope it will go away. Tell your child that you are concerned and that you'd like to help.
Empathize with your child. Tell him or her that bullying is wrong, that it is not their fault, and that you are glad he or she had the courage to tell you about it. Do not assume that your child did something to provoke the bullying. For instance, do not ask things like, "What did you do to aggravate the other child?"
Document the incident(s). Work with your children to record bullying incidents. Write down what happened, where, who was involved, and when it occurred. Find out how your child reacted and how the students bullying, bystanders, and adults responded.
Contact law enforcement. Police can respond if the aggressive behavior is criminal. The following may constitute a crime:
- Threats of violence
- Taking a photo image of someone in a place where he or she would expect privacy
- Harassment, stalking, or hate crimes
- Obscene or harassing phone calls or text messages
- Extortion
Be Persistent. Talk regularly with your child to see whether the bullying has stopped. If the bullying persists or escalates, contact the appropriate people again and or talk with an attorney. Don’t just threaten to sue, follow through with a lawsuit and include the bully’s parents in the lawsuit to hold them responsible for their child’s acts of bullying.
The National Crime Prevention Center says the best strategy when crime is involved is to hold the parents responsible for the child’s actions because such parents are more likely to reinforce appropriate behavior in the youth.
What teachers can do:
Investigate reports of bullying immediately. If bullying occurs on-campus or through the school district’s internet system, you are obligated to take action. If the physical bullying or cyberbullying occurs off-campus, you can still help. Remember even bullying that happens off-campus can affect how students behave and relate to each other at school.
- Closely monitor the behavior of the students involved at school for all forms of bullying.
- Investigate to see if those who are physically bullied need support from a school counselor or school-based health professional.
- Notify parents of students involved in bullying.
- Talk with all students about the negative effects of bullying.
- Notify the police if the aggressive behavior is criminal.
What kids, teens and young adults can do:
- Talk with someone you trust. Talking to someone could help you figure out the best ways to deal with the problem. Reach out to a family member, friend or another adult that you trust.
- Report the incident to your school. They may be able to help you resolve the bullying and be watchful for face-to-face bullying.
- Ask for help. Sometimes, talking to a counselor or health professional can help you get through the emotional effects of bullying.
How much do you really know about bullying? Facts and Myths
FACT: People who bully have power over those they bully.
People who bully others usually pick on those who have less social power (peer status), psychological power (know how to harm others), or physical power (size, strength). However, some people who bully also have been bullied by others. People who both bully and are bullied by others are at the highest risk for problems (such as depression and anxiety) and are more likely to become involved in risky or delinquent behavior.
MYTH: Only boys bully.
People think that physical bullying by boys is the most common form of bullying. However, social, and physical bullying happens among both boys and girls, especially as they grow older.
MYTH: People who bully are insecure and have low self-esteem.
Many people who bully are popular and have average or better-than-average self-esteem. They often take pride in their aggressive behavior and control over the people they bully. People who bully may be part of a group that thinks bullying is okay. Some people who bully may also have poor social skills and experience anxiety or depression. For them, bullying can be a way to gain social status.
Sources:
National Crime Prevention Center
Department of Health and Human Services
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